Let’s face it, navigating the Halloween costume minefield for ladies is no joke. Every year around this time the question on everyone’s lips is “what are you going to be for Halloween?” I may be almost 30 but the question is as crucial now as it was when I was 13 and frankly a whole helluva lot more complicated. Why? Because Pinterest and social media and party stores really want me to be (horrifying) sexy versions of almost anything. It’s terrifying. See what I mean?
One of my favorite memories growing up is every year going to the fabric store with my mom and spending hours looking at pattern books and trying to decide what I wanted to be for Halloween. Sometimes, I already knew — I’d been thinking about it for a while — but other times, I would flip through the book as long as my mom would let me. Then, we would go pick out fabrics and talk design (you know I loved this part) and then we’d take it all home. My mom, a full time attorney, would then create a fabulous, handmade costume — WAAAAYYY nicer than anything you could buy. Most of the time I didn’t get them until moments before it was time to trick or treat (hey, she was busy!) but that just added to the excitement and suspense. I loved those costumes! My friend Maria and I were reminiscing this week about how spoiled we were by our mom’s homemade costumes and how we wish that we could still cash in on that benefit now. Part of the problem of Halloween is deciding on the right costume. I have many requirements and it makes it tricky. I don’t do scary or sexy. I want to look nice and I want to be comfortable. That eliminates a lot of costumes. Especially one like this…
I would also prefer that my costume be clever and easily recognizable. It gets old explaining your costume all night.
As a kid my favorite costumes were Anne of Green Gables, Elizabeth Bennett, a Hershey’s Kiss, and a southern belle. (It’s not a news flash that I was — and am — a bit of a nerd)
In the spirit of the season (and the fact that I am going to a Halloween party and need to be properly attired), I have brainstormed a couple of relatively easy but fun (and of course SASSY) Halloween costumes that pass my rigorous test.
1. Mary Poppins
Take a white button down with a red ribbon bowtie and pair it with either a knee length or maxi length black skirt. Put your hair in a top knot. Bonus points if you can swing her cute hat and/or carry an umbrella and carpet bag. Here’s Lauren Conrad showing you how it’s done.
2. Olivia Pope of Scandal fame
This one is the easiest by far but might require explanation throughout the night. Find a white jack or white trench and put it together with your best business look and carry around a giant glass of red wine. Easy and convenient since I will probably be carrying around that glass of red wine anyway.
3. Troop Beverly Hills
This is another one that you can really have fun with! Wear all the khaki you have together at once. Take a green scarf or bandana and rock it girl scout style. Add fabulous make up, knee socks, and sunglasses and you are made in the shade. Bonus points if you get your hands on a girl scout sash or a green beret (goodwill might just help you there!).
4. The Girls from Clueless
While we are talking about costumes that take us back in time, it doesn’t get much more iconic than Cher from Clueless. It works best if you have a plaid pleated skirt that you can rock a jacket with and knee socks. Have fun with it and don’t forget to use her catchphrase “Whatever.”
5. Hermione Granger
A modern day hero who is easy to emulate with a used school uniform (easy to find at Goodwill) with a tie, messy down hair, and a big book. Bonus points if you can get your hands on a convincing wand. Whatever you do, don’t make her sexy. It’s offensive on every level and reveals you to the world as someone who just doesn’t get it.
6. Katniss Everdeen
This is probably going to be my costume this year. It doesn’t get much more comfortable than pants, boots, a black t-shirt, a black windbreaker, a sidebraid, and a mockingjay pin. Bonus points if you can carry a bow and arrow. I might even go all in and rock a wig… I guess we will just have to wait and see!
What are you going to be for Halloween this year?